So maybe having kids is like running a circus, or directing theater as the vacuum cleaner commercial suggests, but I really feel that it is like running an insane asylum and I am the craziest of them all. It is like riding a roller coaster, up and down, and sometimes upside down and other times it is smooth sailing and you mistakenly think, I've got this. Then bedtime comes around and the three year old is beating up her big brother and you question why you ever thought the smooth sailing would last. Part of you wishes they would grow up and have more self control, and part of you wants them to stay little and curious forever. Now you might wonder why I think I am the craziest. I have decided to take them on full time, as in homeschooling. I feel like it is taking over my life, my mind and I am just in the planning stages. There are no breaks and no child get one on one attention for hours a day. The biggest problem I have is the two older ones interacting with each other and now they don't get breaks from each other, either.
Yesterday I almost through in the towel. Miss E, while three, is not one for melt downs and tantrums when she is one on one but yesterday was meltdown city, every few minutes. There was no reasoning with her or getting her what she wanted. I think some of it is the rash she has on her extremities from sunscreen and chlorine. I cannot get a handle on it and she gets exposed again before I can even start it in a healing direction. She scratches it until it bleeds and then it also spreads. We got an oatmeal bath for her today, and she was a dream. It was like night and day. The two did not fight in the car, for the most part they were thoughtful, then just before bed she destroys whatever Mr R had been making with legos and then runs away knowing she did wrong. And let me tell you, I am pretty sure the lesson sunk in more with me telling her calmly how angry I was at what she had done and that she knew better than when I yell. She was so apologetic to both me and Riley afterwards. Craziness I tell you.
When we move in a month, they will have separate bedrooms again and the girls will share once I move Baby B out of our room. I am also going to majorly downsize their stuff. They don't play with much of it, most of the time they are fighting over it. They will earn the right to play with certain items as they learn to respect us, our belongings and their own belongings. I think if it is a treat to get the legos out, or their cars or anything else, they will have more fun. They also have less opportunity to make a mess and less to be responsible for. Another mommy blogger that reportedly did this, also found her kids were less likey to ask for "stuff" when out and about.
So with moving to save money and pay things off comes me attempting a new budget and it is hard to change my mindset from the system we have been using over 11 years now, to one that will help us realize what we can afford and pay things off. I am also praying that my employer can find a way for me to go back to work part time. I think 3 10 hours shifts would be doable overnight and I would only have to hire someone once a week to be here while I got some sleep. This will give us some breathing room as I am not going to include that income in the forecaster budget so we can save and pay off debts with most of that money.
Please pray for us as we embark on our biggest adventure, homeschooling this year. I am going to take it light with Elise and see how she progresses by just watching Riley and utilizing some online resources for preschool activities. Then we may start her in Kindergarten the following fall. I am nervous, but mostly excited. It is something I had always wanted to do and I am glad that the Enginerd and I were able to agree on how best to proceed.
May you all enjoy your roller coaster with all of life's ups and downs. Feel free to comment on how you cope or the mood swings of your three year old, sometimes just knowing we are not alone is a coping tool on its own.