-Don't tell people to 'stop judging' just because some of us don't agree with this woman's choice [edited]. We are called to make judgments and discern between right and wrong. This 'stop judging' thing is about the dumbest, most anti-intellectual, most pointless slogan you can possibly repeat. Of course we should judge this act, just as we should judge any act. The people who whine about 'judging' aren't actually upset about judging in and of itself, they're upset that you judged it DIFFERENTLY.
Something happened while I was in a mom support group. Support is an interesting word. I am pretty supportive in parenting and womanly things, I give perspective and advice and am pretty impartial as to which methods one uses. This woman in our group posted something financial asking for grammatical help on her page asking for people to contribute to her husbands student loans/education and support their family. I spoke my mind pretty eloquently and from my own experiences and as nonjudgmental as I could muster. She attacked and said I wish women could just support each other. Reading Matt Walsh clarify his argument with this point about making judgements made me realize my feelings were not misplaced. She put it out there for us to judge and I told her it was wrong to ask for money like that. I judged her situation differently, does not mean either of us are wrong. Judging a situation and a person are different things, how you express the difference of opinion is also important. I was respectful and used my own situation as examples to solutions rather than attacking her.
I understand go fund me when something sudden happens, illness or accident for example, but asking people to pay for medical school for your husband is on par with pan handling in my opinion. In her summation of the situation, a couple things really upset me. One, she says he is top of his class and the best of the best...why is he not applying for or earning scholarships? Secondly, in her summation she states that with a $500 donation she will make a handmade quilt. If she has skills like that, why can't she put them to work and also be a source of income for her family in this time of need. The entitlement and way she responded that people doing frivolous things and should want to help, just made me sick. Probably because of all the sacrifices we've made for me to stay home and allow us to get on a path to becoming debt free. Probably because entitlement is a nerve and something I see too often in culture today. He is going to be a doctor, they have choices. I would be completely embarrassed if a future client was researching me and found a gofundme or similar page. I have left all mom groups so I don't get worked up or personally involved again. I am grateful for the friendships made.
So thank you to those that have supported us and helped us get to this point, develop our short term and long term financial goals. We appreciate the things you done and advice you've given. We thank G-d we were eventually open minded enough to listen.